Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Acid is not a monday night drug
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
