dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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