So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
