That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
