i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
