WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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