What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize