So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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