it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
