You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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