did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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