Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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