If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
