Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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