I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
