we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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