Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
