try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
