the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
