You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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