i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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