i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
