Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
