I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
