No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
