Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Someone came in the potted fern
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
