How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My vagina is officially offended.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
