Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
