Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
