ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
