it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
