if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
