doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
