who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
