Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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