I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
