i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize