you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
