I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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