she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
