i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
