awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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