Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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