This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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