Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
