You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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