i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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