how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
