Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
