I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
