be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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