is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
