Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
