Come see our sink grown plant.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
