just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
this hospital has no fireball
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
