new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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