So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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