That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Cover your peen. We're going out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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