she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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