Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
