Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
