PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You are a genius and a whore.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
